Monday 7 September 2009

Shoe Throwing

WOW Where did the weekend go!!! I think that's a phrase that is all too familiar for everyone. So it is now Monday afternoon, and I've got 5 mins peace at work and I think now would be a good time to write some "stuff" in here.
I find myself slipping back to my favourite topic at the moment Twitter and I'm wondering if all the people who are actually reading this have crossed over from Twitter? Perhaps you could leave a comment at the bottom of this and let me know.
Well I had a very quiet weekend, especially for me!! In fact on Sunday, I neither got out my PJ's nor did I leave the house. Ok some of you are saying well if you didn't take your PJ's off, then chances are you didn't leave the house. Aha, you would be wrong, its part of the joy of living in the country without neighbours...I sometimes walk the dogs in my PJ's...lol It is truly a sight to behold!!
After my last blog I put a stat counter out of curiosity and found that so far 346 of you have read my little blog, and I am honestly truly amazed.
I'm not sure that I can keep this up, as I believe that all blogs should be light hearted and some what amusing. We all need a little humour in our life.
With it being, both a MotoGP and World Superbike weekend there are no prizes for guessing what most of my weekend consisted of. I find myself a little flat that Yamaha are (for want of a better word) fannying around with the only remaining seat on the team which just happens to belong to James. We now have a month of rumours and predictions as what could or may happen next. zzzzzzzzzzz Its all getting a bit boring now.
It was great to see Johnny Rae take a win in WSBK, but unfortunately he and Haga had a bit of a coming together resulting in Haga landing on the deck....this means that Ben Spies was now on top of the table....I don't know what it is about him but he makes me wanna throw shoes at the TV...and by this point in the season I'm a dab hand at it...the TV is not pleased....lol
Lots of you are asking about Kevin Carmichael Stunt Rider. Kevin is a good friend and nothing more, never has been and never will be. No offense intended to Kev, who is truely the most unaffected famous person I know. If you do want to know more about Kevin check out kevincarmichael.com He is also the picture on the background of my twitter page. Maybe I should dig out the photos I have of us 2 up, and give you a laugh. If anyone is interested in seeing them, you can always let me know.
The Isle of Man press writes the headline "James finishes 17th at Misano"...it annoys me so much, that I write to the press office. Five minutes later I receive an apologetic email from the editor who swiftly corrects his error...that makes me smile for the day. Maybe I should get a job in James press office...lol
Its now Thursday and things at work (IT Networking) have been pretty busy, so that's has kept me out of trouble for this week...lol
If any of you have by any chance any questions on life, the universe, etc...no seriously...about me...stunting...etc feel free to drop me a line at weeyin13@hotmail.com.
Until next time
Jen x

Thursday 3 September 2009

Bikes, Wheelies and my Lily white Ass!

Now it is Thursday and I thank the Lord that the weekend is nearly upon us. So its lunchtime and I am pondering what to write in this today. I think today will be about bikes, not the pedal variety but the sexy, sweet and fast engined kind.
I feel that I must explain that my interest in both MotoGP and motorbikes does extend beyond Mr Toseland!!
I have always had an interest in things that are both fast and dangerous. I was one of those children that when told "Don't touch!!" you just knew I was gonna.
Having passed my bike test at 17..a feat that some said was going to be impossible for someone like me...Huh!! What did they know...I happily passed first time with flying colours. They said I had only achieved this by cheating...who..me..no... never...I simply worked the system. When I passed my test all you needed was a bike over 50cc. As you set off on your circuit of the local test centre, the tester would hot foot it through the neighbouring gardens with all the grace,poise and speed of an Olympic hurdler to await you half way round for your emergency stop. I admit that getting your licence then, was alot easier than it is now. So being a little short, getting a proper bike is a little difficult. So I simply got a Honda C90, it was over 50cc and I could do my test without issue.
So woo haa I have a full licence and my biking journeys begin, all be it, on a step-through. Well 2 actually, both of which I blew up. Apparently this happens when you constantly ride off the clock!! Ending when you can cook marshmallows on my exhaust, and I eventually manage to weld the exhaust to the cylinder head....twice!!! Ooops
Next I get a Honda dream - CB400 which my engineer friends chops for me. Its fantastic and noisy and I love it. After many happy miles it becomes very unreliable, and I am again without bike.
My next bike...my baby....is a beautiful CBR400RR gullarm - babyblade grey import and its the most beautiful thing I have ever clapped eyes on. This is in fact a Happy Divorce present to myself..some people do sensible things like buy a home, or have a party. But no, not me, I celebrate my freedom with a new bike...in my eyes a proper super bike.
When I get it back to the garage of my parents house, it sits there looking longingly at me for 3 days, whilst I think that it looks huge, and I may have bitten more off than I can chew. Something I am naturally not prepared to admit!!!
A friend finally puts me and my new baby in the back of a van and takes us to a nearby industrial park after telling me that I might as well take it back to the shop if I'm just gonna sit and look at it!!!
OK deep breaths I can do this...and we're off..at first we are just pottering with no gloves and no helmet. My friend thinks I've dropped it as I have been out of sight for a long time. But just as he starts to walk to come rescue me, from what he thinks is under the bike, he spots me and says all I could see was your smile it was as wide as the Clyde!! After this me and my baby are inseparable and we go everywhere together. I buy her lots of toys like a lovely carbon scorpion race can, carbon hugger, carbon chain guard, racing pegs...all my hard earned cash is spent on her. If I'm not spending on my baby I'm buying the best I can afford in helmets, boots, jackets...and I am loving life!! With twin front brembo's I can pull stoppies and derestricted I can wheelie in just about every gear...by accident of course! As you can tell its a very happy time for me. When I parked her in the street she was admired by many, and when I parked her in the factory car park, she is the only beauty in amongst all the cars. She even gets her own special space. I am now infamous in a factory of 800 people. As I donner about the shop floor on a daily basis, people come to greet me to talk about my baby. Even though I have worked here for many years I have, until my baby never met them. The boys joke that the speed bumps are put in the car park just for me, and we nightly race home. We have 4 beautiful years together before some asshole steals her in the middle of the night and I am truly devastated. It takes another 3 yrs before I can afford to buy another baby but this time I treat myself to my current baby a Ducati Monster 900. More about him later!!
During this time in my life I befriend Kevin Carmichael, on his way to becoming a World Champion Motorcycle Stunt Rider. I am chuffed to be his passenger at some of these rounds. I kid myself into thinking that this is because I have some special hanging on skill...no, not really...in truth its because when you are the size of a handbag and weigh as much as a box of tissues, you make the perfect stunt monkey!!
To this end I suppose I've had my 5 mins of fame, some of you may even have seen me. I have had the pleasure of being wheelied backwards up and down the straight at knockhill, thrashed up and down the Crail Quarter Mile, and stoppied the furthest 2 up distance at the air strip on Skye, and many other interesting events I may bore you with later.
I will leave you with the most important thing I learned during my stunt career.

When changing out of your leathers in the back of the team van...wear shorts under your leathers....or at very least do not attempt this manoeuvre facing backwards out of the van..and definitely not whilst leaning on the back doors....less you might find yourself making more of a lily white ASS of yourself to the spectators who have now gathered at the back of the van waiting to meet Kevin, whilst he opens the back door to put away his helmet, than you may have intended!!! If you were one of those poor soles I am indeed truly sorry....lol
Happy Friday to you all when it comes.
Jenxx

Tuesday 1 September 2009

Welcome to "Titter" !!!

As we all know the weekend is far too short and the working week far too long. Before you know it Monday morning is here again.
The alarm goes off at 6am, I turn it off and think just 5 more mins...fatal...the next thing I know is it's 7am. I drag myself out of bed and so Monday begins. I'm on auto pilot as I switch on the iron, my hair straighteners and the kettle, in that order. I stare longingly at the kettle in my non awake daze while the dogs and I wait for the kettle to boil. My dogs already know that when the coffee is made they get a walk. Nothing happens in my house BC (before coffee)!!!
I return to the house to get washed and dressed. Always as I iron my clothes I ask myself "why did I not do this the night before!!!" I drink what is left of my coffee whilst I straighten my hair, and before you know it, I'm heading out the door.
Tuesday is a repeat of the above, only 20 mins later....fantastic I'm going to be late. Probably caused my previous late night tweeting....also a repeat of the night before. Oh yeah, and I decided to write a blog.
My grumpy mood is lifted slightly as I remember the previous evenings conversation on Twitter, and I actually start to giggle. @Mirantha had posted that her and I were on par with our addiction to "Titter"!!! As I read the post I couldn't help but burst into fits of laughter, that got worse as I pictured how we would market such a product. By the time my sides were splitting, I was trying to imagine how the logo would look. Finally I managed to compose myself to the occasional snigger whilst I asked her how the logo would look. Quick as a flash she replied "that would be two logo's!!!" and I am once again killing myself with side splitting laughter. I reckon this is why @Mirantha and I have become the "simmet and drawers", the "Fran and Anna" and as @MartinLewis77 once pointed out "should come with a government health warning" of Twitter. We share such a similar wicked sense of humour. Although we only live miles apart, and have never met, nor did we know one another before Twitter, we get on like a house on fire. Add into the mix @EvilNanny and we then collectively become the "Haggis, Tatties and Neeps" of Twitter, another one of @Mirantha's classic one liners. Though it has to be said that we have yet to decide which one of us is haggis, tatties or neeps. Perhaps some of you could choose?
As I drive to work Yeah, Yeah, Yeah by The Pogues is playing and I'm singing along...note to self...do not sing or car dance at traffic lights with window open. As I glance across at the works van queuing next to me, I discover that they are now singing along with me, whilst copying my head bobbing and laughing at me. But I care not a jot and my mood and rushed morning is now forgotten.

The Rambling Continues

As I write this it is now Tuesday morning, and I am at work...grrrr!!!!
Sunday
Now my Sunday turned out to be a little more eventful than my Saturday, but maybe a little too eventful! On the last Sunday of every month, I partake in a little competition golf. Yes I do manage to do other things apart from tweet.
This year I joined Annanhill Ladies Golf Club, which is a small club of around 15 lady members who's ages range from mine to Thomson who is 72. Even at 72 she can still put the rest of us to shame with her energetic blast round the course. Having never swung a golf club since I was 11, I thought this would be a good way to beat the recession blues and get at least 4 hours of uninterrupted peace from work related stress. (yes, despite my constant twittering, I actually do have a real job!)
It has turned out to be a godsend this year. Little did I know that I'd actually be good at it. So good in fact, that I won the Club Championship and have received the title of Annanhill Ladies Champion 2009, an honor which is bestowed on few and gives you the privilege of having your name added to board which hangs proudly in the clubhouse. I may add that this has not made me the most popular rookie in the club, and has led to such name calling as "El Ban dido", "Tiger Watson" and "The Shark" all of which I find incredibly funny. Along with the club championship, I have also managed to secure the 4 other main trophies, along with a pile on Wednesday Night Stroke Play matches and a few Sunday Medal matches. In truth, the majority of members have been very supportive, encouraging and full of praise for my success, only a select few have found their jealously hard to hide. The standing joke at the minute is that "69" is my favourite number as I have had 5 in row. This basically makes me very hard to beat and results in my handicap being cut. I am now also the most cut Bronze player, which enters me into some Scottish competition next year. Having never won at anything in my life before, I am naturally very excited about our Prize Giving Evening in late November(Do think James Toseland would like to come up to Scotland and hand them over...a girl can live in hope..lol)
Where was I, oh aye...Sunday - I get up fairly early pre 10am, make coffee, walk the dogs and all the other usual boring an mundane things that we do first thing. My match is around 12.45pm, which should get me back just in time for our club lesson from 6pm - 7pm and then its straight home for MotoGP. Sounds easy enough, nothing difficult there...mmmm
I limit my coffee intake before golf, for one reason and one reason only. There is nowhere to hand in your tinkle ticket on the course. Plenty of trees and bushes, but its not easy when your all wrapped up like a burst pipe. So instead, I prefer just to limit my fluid intake saves any hastle...maybe a little too much info!!!
As usual I have sat around far too long, an grab everything last minute...damn it...the fuel light is on in the car. Off to the garage I go, luckily it's on my way there.
I can see the garage about 500yrds away when my car starts to splutter..Oh no I'm not gonna make it...I start to swerve the car like a rider lining up for the grid after the warm up lap.....wrong...as I put my indicator on to turn the car dies, all the lights come on and I have no power steering. Thankfully nothing is coming and I coast across the junction into the Q8 petrol station and straight to the pump. Geez oh that was lucky I'm thinking. I fill her up with diesel, and pay, but alas she wont start. Its turning over but nothing..damn it..who do I phone first. I'm thinking does this car self-bleed, will it bleed before my battery dies trying. I phone my playing partner, who happens to be just about at the garage, and she files in at the pump behind me. By now the garage is totally swamped, even the tanker has arrived for another delivery and there is chaos...all caused by me blocking the pump. Eventually after a flurry of activity, which includes searching for a towing eye on the car with no luck, I decide jump leads may be the best option..I don't know alot about cars, but enough to know that if I completely flatten the battery my day of golf is over before it starts. As I go to buy them, a nice chap spots my open bonnet and offers his assistance. We push the car forward and away from the pump (only because it takes a petrol pump attendant to point out to a gaggle of men, that the use of jump leads near the pumps may cause injury...who knew!!!..lol) One jump and we're started, and a breathe a huge sigh of relief. The nice man tells me to "boot it" to the golf club. I don't need to be told that twice and I'm off like a rocket with my playing partner left behind to catch up.
We manage 14 out of 18 holes before the rain starts and when we get back, I am beaten by 1 stroke. Aw well you can't win them all!!!
Only the lesson to go and then it will be time for MotoGP. But there has been a mix up and our pro's (who take the lessons) are playing elsewhere, cool means I get to go straight home.
There are no more issues with the car and I get home safely.
I'm met at the door by 3 hungry puppy dogs with their legs crossed, so we all get fed, watered and walked before I get a chance to sit down.
Finally I get dinner and once again enter my virtual twitter world as Mrs Toseland. My tweetdeck lights up like a Christmas tree when I log on, with lots of messages from great and kind peeps from here and across the pond, who already know I am watching James avidly. Messages such as "Aw look he's waving at you" and "I just got my ears blasted off taking this photo for you" make me giggle uncontrollably like a school girl.
The race is excellent, and when my heart rate finally returns to normal I find myself once again awaiting bail from twitterjail...lol
The rest of my evening is spent chatting with like minded individuals and my threat of an early night comes and goes. Resulting in me finally logging off well after midnight. Only then has my weekend finally "kicked the bucket!!".
Jen